My greatest fear is to grow old going home in an empty house, with no one to greet me and ask how my day went by. I shudder at the thought of myself at age 40, sleeping alone on my bed with only my pillows and blanket to comfort and accompany me through the night. It terrifies me to think about waking up every single day with no one beside me.

I came close to making this fear irrelevant for a number of times now in my life. And for an equal number of times, I failed.

It's not that I'm not used to being alone. As a matter of fact, I have been alone for quite a long time now. Going home to an empty house is nothing new to me. But that doesn't mean I like this life.

I simply want to have someone to grow old with. Someone who understands me and would accept me for who I am. Someone whom I could talk with for endless hours without noticing how much time has passed. Someone who would be more than my friend, my lover, my companion. I want to grow old with my soulmate.