One day of not talking with you feels like a thousand years in hell. I miss you coz I need you, I need you coz I love you. Take care always. I'll always be with you, maybe not by your side, but always at your back.

i love the way you smile, honest and inspiring
I love watching you sleep, peaceful and so innocent
I love hearing you voice while ur talking, singing



I love to see you laugh at my corny jokes
I love to hold your hand, look into your eyes
I love to embrace you real tight



I love it when you tell me how perfect we are for each other
I love it when you pour your hearts contents on me
I love it when you ask me to be myself



I love dreamin of you when im asleep
I love thinkin of you when im awake
I love everything about you



I love you
I always did
I always will

I'm cleaning up my inbox right now. I have 1,011 messages, and as I read through each and every one of them again, I can't help but smile and reminisce... My oldest message is dated March 7, 1998 with the subject "friends always" from Ladisla Reyes. She's one of my chatmates sa compass internet dati (my nick is Nostalgia). Reading through the messages, I realized that I made a lot of friends, though most of them now, i have no more communication with. hehehe.. haaay, mukhang nde ko mtatapos ung paglilinis nito.. ang dami e.. hehehe.. signin off...

I.
Umiiyak ka na naman
Langya talaga , wala ka bang ibang alam
Namumugtong mga mata
Kailan pa ba kaya ikaw magsasawa



II.
Sa problema na iyong pinapasan
Hatid sayo ng boyfriend mong hindi mo maintindihan
May kwento kang pandrama na naman
Parang pang TV na walang katapusan



III.
Hanggang kailan ka bang ganyan
Hindi mo ba alam na walang pupuntahan
Ang pagtiyaga mo dyan sa boyfriend mong tanga
Na wala nang ginagawa kundi ang paluhain ka



Chorus:
Sa libu-libong pagkakataon na tayoy nag-kasama
Iilang ulit palang kitang makitang masaya
Naiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka nya
Siguro ay hindi niya lang alam ang iyong
Tunay na halaga



IV.
Hindi na dapat pag-usapan pa
Nagpapagod na rin ako sa aking kakasalita
Hindi ka rin naman nakikinig
Kahit sobrang pagod na ang aking bibig



V.
Sa mga payo kong di mo pinapansin
Akala mo’y nakikinig di rin naman tatanggapin
Ayoko nang isipin pa
Di ko alam ba’t di mo makayanan na iwanan sya



VI.
Ang dami-dami naman diyang iba
Wag kang mangangambang baka wala ka nang ibang Makita
Na lalake na magmahal sayo
At hinding hindi nya sasayangin ang pag-ibig mo



Repeat Chorus



VII. Minsan hindi ko maintindihan
Parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan
Medyo Malabo yata ang mundo
Binabasura ng iba ang siya’y pinapangarap ko

August 4, 2006. 9:14pm



I'm home alone. Texted my sis and that cute little imp texted back "May mumu jan!"... How nice... now I'm tired, alone, and SCARED! GRRRRR!!!



Anyways, i'll be spending some time venting off my frustrations in this blog, so please bear with me (what the hell, as if anybody reads my blogs! lolz).



Random thoughts:



Due to "certain circumstances", I was reminded with a question asked by my classmate in College: "Sino ang pipiliin mo, yung taong mahal mo, pero hindi ka mahal, o yung taong mahal ka, pero hindi mo mahal?" I remember choosing the person I love, even if she doesn't love me. Looking back, I can say that if asked the same question now, I would still answer the same, though probably having a deeper reason than before.



To love is to unselfishly take a part of yourself and share it with others, without expecting anything in return. When in doubt on how to love, I have one ultimate guide: Jesus. To love someone, to see that this person is happy and safe, even at the expense of one's self, is the best experience that one could ever experience. For real love is above and beyond all the sacrifices, pains, and selfishness.



Yeah, easy said than done.



Why are we afraid to love? Is it because of past experiences? Is it because we are afraid so much to get hurt, or hurt someone? Or maybe we are just too busy with our lives to even bother about this nonsense?



Are we afraid of loving our parents, brothers or sisters? I guess not. Why? Simple: because we trust them. Therefore, trust is the core of true love. It is not difficult for us to love other people, we are just afraid to trust someone other than our family. But what is there to be afraid of? Are we afraid that they would hurt us? Are we scared that we might hurt them? Is love not reason enough for us to take the risk?



To end this nonsense post, let me share my favorite txt quote from Khom:



"To laugh is to risk appearing foolish...
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental...
To reach out for another is to risk involvement...
To expose feelings is to risk exposing one's true self...
To place ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule...
To love is to risk not being loved in return...
To live is to risk dying...
To hope is to risk despair,,,
To try is to risk failure...
And yet, the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, ultimately becomes nothing."