My Final Fantasy II

"All is fair in love and war."

My life, so far, has experienced so many personal battles involving different persons, situations, and resolutions. In every one of these battles, I've lost so much. And yet, I'm still here, fighting a good fight, living each day with every strength that I have.

When I had my first relationship, I must admit, the feeling was indescribable. Suddenly, I've discovered completely different interpretations and emotions whenever I hear love songs playing softly on the radio. It's like finding a secret code within a book which describes how to live your life in ecstasy, in bliss. Young as we were, we tried to live life to the fullest, most of the time playing on the dangerous side of life. We had so many ups and downs, mostly the latter, but the thought of having someone special close to my heart kept me going on. However, not all battles, no matter how long and how hard you've fought it, will end in victory. And when my defeat arrived, the feeling of utter helplessness consumed me, slowly eating myself, until nothing is left but emptiness.

And then, she came. Also coming from a bad relationship, we eventually found each other. We helped each other, got close, and eventually started our own relationship. This, however, was a short battle. The abruptness of everything, and the gaping distance between us, eventually gave way to a crack that would eventually widen and destroy whatever we had back then. This battle, as short as it may have been, made me realize that it is not enough to go to war with only courage and emotions. A certain degree of logic, resourcefulness, and reality-check should always be employed. Fortunately, it ended before any major damage has been done.

With these past experiences, I became more careful in the battles that I will fight. Or maybe I was a little too careful. Giving up even before starting the fight and taking too much time preparing that the battle was already over when I've completed my preparations. I'm not complaining, however, as these experiences gave way to the current situation I am right now.

The difference between my past battles and my current one is that this time, I'm not just fighting FOR someone, rather, I'm fighting FOR and WITH someone. Soul mates, as we call each other, for we have defied and we are defying every odds imaginable that come in our way. Being with her is like having my very own time machine - the world seems to stop and I can feel nothing else but sweet serenity. Thinking of her doesn't simply make me contented with my life. Rather, she inspires me to do things that I should do, but I don't because of fear, indifference, or plain laziness. She makes me think about my past, my present, and most especially, my future. She is someone whom I can talk with for endless hours in one day but still have more than enough things to say the next day. She is the one I can comfortably sit with silently without doing anything in particular, for even though our lips do not move, we are speaking with each other in our hearts. That is why even if this is the most difficult battle that I've been so far, I am more than willing to stand strong and face the bullets.

For this is where I want to be right now. For this is what I want to do right now. For this is the path I need to take to reach that future that I've been wanting for so long. For she is my ultimate dream, she is my utmost inspiration, and most of all, she is my final fantasy.


Mon, very inspiring. I like it..hehehe
Jen said…
kambal, this is the best blog ever!!! :)

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